Strange Occurrences in the World of Fanfiction
by Aurisa
Summary: Mistakes/ Misunderstandings that always tend to pop up in the world of Fanfiction. Really, if you want to write a decent story, at least bother to get the spelling correct. That is the least respect you can show to the reader.
1. Chapter 3

Do I really need a disclaimer for this?

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After lurking in Fictionpress and Fanfiction for several months, I have decided that it's high time for me to revitalize this little project of mine that I have started years or months ago. I can't rightly remember. Numerous things that I have noticed continuously nag at my mind, and as I plough through around 40 or so stories, be they one-shots or stories bordering on becoming a novella, a constant thought plagued my mind: Why are people repeating the same mistakes again and again?

So, let's address these issues in this short chapter. And be warned, this chapter doesn't specifically target Pokemon even though it's placed in that category. It's a general overview.

Firstly, don't be stingy with paragraphs. Seriously, use them. They don't cost anything at all. It's not as if a chunk of your meat would be cut off if you used, say more than six paragraphs in this story. In fact, I highly recommend that you use them frequently. Just refer to any published books you have. A quick flip through them would give you this discovery: Published authors have short paragraphs, each paragraph lasting around 3 to 6 lines. And you would realize that this makes for easier reading, as information is broken down into small digestible bite-sizes, without the readers having to plough through a huge chunk of text.  
An added benefit is that it ensures that your readers would read most of your story, as people have a tendency to simply skip or gloss through long paragraphs, simply because it looks boring.

But don't be overly liberal with paragraphs either. It makes reading disjointed and awfully un-conducive. Instead of reading short stories, readers will have the impression that they are reading a sequence of events in point forms. And this is awfully jarring and is highly discouraged. For people who wish to take a look at specific examples, they can simply take a peek in the earlier one-shots I have written, as I was fond of using excessive paragraphing in the past. Thank god though, that I have kicked the habit now, or my teacher would have kicked me in the shins.

**So, know this – paragraphs are important.**

Moving on, please don't write a story that is 90% made of dialogues. Words are inadequate to fully express my vehemence against it, as… well, I really don't like it. True, this may be my personal preference only, but I believe that a story should not be majorly constructed on words between characters. If you are only using dialogues to further the plot, without describing actions and feelings of the characters, you will find them you are typing an extremely dull and distanced essay that is void of emotions. And kindly, kindly, do not use "Kyah", "Ahhhhhhh!", or "Ring!" too much in your text. It doesn't add to the level of sophistication of your story. Seriously. I am not joking.  
An example is:  
Intitially – _"Ahhhhhh!" the girl screamed in horror, as the man advanced menacingly towards her._

Suggested Alternative—_A sickly-pale face, one that had evidently been deprived of sunlight, leered at the girl. It may be a trick of the light cast by the flickering streetlamp, but to the girl, the eyes on the man's face were inhumanely big, with the icy blue irises taking up the whole of the eyes. His lips were pale-white, totally drained of blood, one that would have appeared more suited on a corpse than a living human being. In the split second, the man noticed the girl's gaze on him and shot her a sneer full of teeth, casting a ravenous and threatening tone on the already horrifying face. He took a step nearer._

_The girl's stomach clenched in fear and her eyes widened considerably in shock. A spasm of horror ran through her as her mouth opened, ready to convey her terror in sound. Yet, the terror had already taken the voice out of her, leaving her gaping in mute revulsion. The girl's haunted brown eyes locked with the man's feral blue eyes, and she found that her legs could no longer support her weight. They gave out on her, leaving her more vulnerable than ever._

Do you see how you can expand on just a single sentence to give more colours to your story? But of course, there is a limit to how far you can describe. Don't describe too much or it will just bore your readers, and they will simply chuck it in some virtual dustbin and never read it ever again.

**Remember this—All things must be done in moderation to attain the best effect possible.**

An important thing that ought to be mentioned is that sometime simple words do the trick as well. You don't need to pepper your story with impressive-sounding, bombastic words that makes absolutely no sense to most readers. After all, you write in hopes that someone will read it. So create a story that is engaging, lively and easily understandable.  
An example is:  
Initially—_John perambulated about the corridor._

Suggested Alternative—_John ambled about the corridor aimlessly. His stance was relaxed and his pace was slow. Swiveling his head from side to side, he searched for something of interest; something that would provide him with a task to do for this few hours. Yet, none could be seen. What a sad, dull, boring place that John was living in._

I hope you have understood what I mean through the above-mentioned example. When was it that you have seen 'perambulated'? Do you even know what it means, other than it sounding profound? And you do realize that while the suggested alternative does not have bombastic words like that, yet, it is able to create a better effect than the first. This is simply because it is more successful in creating imageries in readers via the usage of commonly-used words.

**So don't throw in four or more syllables words when and when you feel like it. The best authors are able to create a strong impact on readers even when using relatively simple words.**

And lastly and most importantly, be kind in your reviews. Some of the new authors here are fledglings who have barely begun to warm their wings. Yet, there are people who are overly harsh and critical who 'flames'. Have you any idea how harmful 'flames' are to a person's pride, especially to newcomers who joined the community in hopes of publishing a new story that would be like the jewel in the crown; the cream of the crop?

But of course, I am not telling that you cannot dislike or even hate another person's story. They might be really that crappy to elicit such a response for you, but there's no need for you to show it to the author. You can curse and swear all you want before the computer, and nobody would know or mind (with the exception of your family, for which I take no responsibility). But just don't write a review that is basically just being overly-critical.  
An example is: _"You F*, you have just written a f* story, and aren't you proud of the f*? I hope you rot in hell."_

What sort of civilized, well-bred person would write that? After all, we have grown up in a hypocritical society, and ought to learn the art of hypocrisy as well. It's useful in many occasions, especially when you are out in the 'eat or be eaten world'. **Hypocrisy is a part and parcel of life**, and you may as well start practicing and employing it now. It can also add a semblance of civility to your reviews, as you can start of by complimenting the author on his effort first. So what if it sucks? At least the author bothered to type it out, and has sacrificed an hour of his life.

So from the previous example, you can change it to:  
_Good effort/attempt. There are still many areas for improvement, but at least you have tried. I suggest that you review the usage of your _ (grammar/spelling/sentence structure/prepositions/shampoo brand)  
Do your best._

See, doesn't it sound so much gentler on the ears? Does it grate on your nerves any longer? No, it doesn't. Although it may not be as pleasing as those gushing reviews that basically go "I (heart) your story. I (heart) you. Let's get married.", at least it doesn't destroy a person's confidence. And you have given constructive criticisms! You have made the world a better place by ridding it of those blasphemous mistakes! Aren't you proud of yourself?

And the most important thing of all, with this drastic tone in change, you will have realized that you have just graduated from a 'flamer' to a strict critique. See the large discrepancies?

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Please take note that the later chapters published under the same title, are in fact, older works. This first paragrpah is the latest and is placed foremost simply because I think that it's the most relevant one.


	2. Chapter 1

Pokemon does not belong to me.

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Common spelling error number 1.

Pokemon can be both plural and singular. There is no such word as 'Pokemons'.

Common spelling error number 2.

It is 'Gorebyss', not 'Gorebiss', 'Gorbyss', 'Gorpiss' or any other absurd spelling you have for it. GOREBYSS.

Oh yes, and please, for goodness sake, don't get it mixed up with the other evolution Huntail. It is annoying. (Gorebyss is the pink one. The sissy-looking one. The elegant-looking one. Whatever.)

Common spelling error number 3.

'Ninetails' and 'Ninetales'. People commonly mix it up. And I think, it is high time to clear this up once and for all. It is '**Ninetales**'. Much as it would make sense to call it 'Ninetails' (since it has nine tails), it is named 'Ninetales'. This is because each of its tails stand for a tale of a wizard. Hence, the name 'Ninetales'.

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About Ash

Much as it would be interesting to think of how Ash is a hermaphrodite, I find it highly unlikely (but entertaining). And this applies to Ash turning into a vampire/cyborg/mutant as well.

And in the course of the whole series, never once did I hear Ash claiming to be the offspring of some random pokemon. He talks in a human language, he has a human mother (father is strangely missing though.) and he looks human (despite of the fact that he never seem to grow up). Possessing a close bond with a pikachu doesn't necessarily mean that one has to be a descendant of a pikachu (or a hybrid).

Continuing on, I assure you that the rivalry or animosity between Ash and Gary or the new guy (what's his name?), is NOT unresolved sexual tension. I highly doubt that a show meant for children will expose them to things such as homosexuality. (Just imagine the racket that parents will kick up)

Despite Pokemon being an anime, it does NOT promote bigamy, and there are no evidences of polygamy. Besides, which human being would be _so magnanimous_ enough to share his/her beloved one?

Ash is NOT a saint. He does not possess holy blood, is not a martyr (although he has a thing for saving people) and also exhibits selfishness at certain junctions. So please don't put him up on an altar and worship him.

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Issues I have about cross-breeding

You see, authors/authoresses have a thing for legendaries. But the problem with legendaries is that there could only exist one at a time. One in the whole wide world (I do not care if you have two because you used gameshark). So authors/authoresses tend to cross-breed them. And amazingly, for some stories, the legendaries even manage to get a child!

Now, this is something mind-boggling. It is akin to pairing a cat and a dog together and asking them to procreate. What can you get? A cat-dog? A dat? Or perhaps a nice little cog? It is highly unlikely. How can legendaries procreate?

Love between legendaries is acceptable (to some extent), but procreation is simply a no-no. Some author/authoresses even take advantage of this and create a whole new species of legendary. Fascinating. And I would have thought that the reproductive organs would be totally different for different species of pokemon.

Going on, I find it highly questionable that a pokemon can learn how to articulate the human language in a single day, or a single month. The Meowth went through painstaking efforts to gain that skill, and even then he did it with infatuation fuelling him. It is truly dubious for a pokemon to learn how to speak in that short of a time. That is, unless your pokemon is a Gary-Stu or Mary-Sue.

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TIDBITS: Common spelling error that has nothing to do with pokemon

'Diary' and 'Dairy'. They are two different words, with two wholly different meanings. I know that they are not commonly used in this sector, but still… it is a common mistake, and it would never hurt for you to know the difference.

Diary is a book in which you record your experiences.

Dairy is a building in a farm where milk is kept and where foods such as butter and cheese are made.

(It has nothing to do with me spelling it wrongly, not once, but many times. And it has nothing to do with the fact that the reviewer need to point it out to me twice, before I realized it. Nothing at all. Honestly.)

P.S. All that I have written are just advices. You have no need to follow it word for word. It is not a sacred bible, you know.

In fact, feel free to break it if you want to. After all, I do not want to restrict your creativity. Who knows, you might even get a marvelous story or parody.

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I would appreciate if you review it. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Pokemon does not belong to me in any ways at all.

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Common spelling error number 1.

'Electabuzz' and 'Electrabuzz'. Sounds the same? Looks the same? Well, they are different. One of the spelling you can find in the Pokedex, whereas the other can never be found (be it in the English dictionary or the Pokedex). So please get it correct.

'**Electabuzz**' is the correct spelling.

Common spelling error number 2.

'Gyarados' is one of the most popular pokemon. Hence, you can see it popping around frequently. However, there are some who tend to miss out the first 'a', making it 'Gyrados'. Those are not really noticeable, but there are others who will go so far as to spell it as 'Gyarardos', 'Gyriados' or some other absurd things.

So, let's get it right once and for all, '**Gyarados**'.

Common spelling error number 3.

The last spelling error that I will be touching on will be the pre-evolution of one of the most popular pokemon too. After all, Gengar is a pretty good Ghost-Poison type pokemon. So, you will find certain characters in a story catching a 'Gastly'. Or perhaps, a 'Ghastly'?

Well, let's clear up the misunderstanding now. It is '**Gastly**', despite the fact that certain people find it ghastly-looking (I think it looks pretty cute though).

Issues about legendaries part 2.

Well, it appears that I was too quick to judge about the subject concerning legendaries.

After receiving a review which has kindly pointed out that legendaries need not necessary need to be one in the whole wide world (evidence: Lugia and baby Lugia existing together and numerous Shaymin in the 11th movie), I am forced to revise my statement.

Thus, the conclusion that I have reached is that more than one legendary of a certain species can exist. However, I still firmly stick with my previous idea of how different species of legendaries, or any pokemon for that matter, should not cross breed and procreate. It still remains as something that my brain refuses to recognize as 'plausible'.

And yes, I do know that the game allows you to cross-breed pokemon. However, even the game does not allow you to breed legendaries.

Use of dividers.

Please use it. It can be any divider you want, from the 'xxxxx's to the divider that Fanfiction provides us with, but please, for goodness sake, do use it.

It makes the story look tidier, neater and it is good to separate the real story from the disclaimer. After all, some people do not want to read the disclaimers and will want to skip to the story. Hence, use it.

I assure you that it will improve your quality of work, and that should be something all authors/authoresses should want (no matter how tiny the margin of improvement might be).

Certain things that have been bothering me (nothing to do with pokemon)

Firstly, it is the increasing number of 'flames' review that people have been receiving online (by anonymous reviewers mostly). Why do people always reveal their uglier side when they know that they would not need to face the consequences?

Some of the reviews that I have seen are so degrading and demeaning, that you would wonder: Have they even heard of Netiquette?

I know, the person's story might not be polished, might not be perfect and might be rife with grammatical and spelling errors. However, do you really feel the need to scream absurd rubbish at the poor authors/authoresses? In fact, I really think it is extremely offensive to make judgments on the authors'/authoresses' children, parents or whatsoever simply because of a bad piece of work.

What you should really be doing is to offer constructive critiques. Point out the errors, remain polite and soften the blow with a few praises. Even one line of positive comment can lighten the overall tone of the whole review, you know.

After all, what with the recent economic crisis and pandemic influenza, I assure you that no writers would require an extra dosage of venom handed out by an anonymous reviewer.

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End


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